Sunday, June 28, 2020
100 WC
And then I saw it!!! ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.’ When I saw it, it made me jump out of my skin, literally! Pale white face with wrinkled up skin under his eyes and all over, slapped in the middle of his pale white wrinkled up skin are a pair of red orange eyes. ‘Palpatine I am’ He said, looking me directly in the eye. ‘Join the dark side of the force, that way you will be twice as powerful.’ ‘No I will never join the dark side!’ ‘I see the fair in your eyes, join the dark side of the force with me.’
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Kia ora Phoebe.
ReplyDeleteI think it is interesting that you began with the prompt rather than including it elsewhere in your story.
I think that it might have been better for you to put the exclamation mark (just one - that is always all that you will need), after the AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. because it looks as if it is a shout, very loud.
Remember that when you have different people speaking in a piece, each one should go on to a new line. This always makes it much easier for your reader.
Keep up the good writing.
Ms M #100WC